GeekMeetsGirl

i’ve had this recurring conversation with several people in the past year or so.  the gist of the conversation is “why can’t i find someone?”.  i mean seriously, there are tons of people out there…right?  and it’s easier to find someone now-a-days, with the newfangled internet and all…right?

right?

i’ve come to the realization that the internet may be what’s causing all the grief.

so here’s this fancy internet thingie.  it can be the gateway to millions of people.  myspace, facebook, dating sites, stickam (shameless plug), and TONS of other sites where you can post a profile.  you can talk about whatever you want.  you put yourself into categories, with the hope that someone with the same interests finds you…or you find them.

here’s what i call the ‘tick box method’:
whether it’s a conscious effort or not, if i start browsing profiles, i start filtering.  “what do i want to see as an end result”.  hair color: check!  body build: check!  musical interest: check!  video games: check!  (you get the idea).  the myspace ‘browse’ feature has so many categories that you can use to filter your results.  it has more than some dating sites.  regardless, in the end all this filtering pops out the perfect girl…

her name is Justine. she’s awesome.  she lives in the Boston metro area.  i’ve even met her (twice).  in comparisson to the rest of the general population, she ranks the highest on the patented Breon Nagy Chick-O-Meter™; a 4.85 out of 5.

while i absolutely adore her, and would probably fight a bum if she asked me to, i know that i will never be with her.  for every positive, there is an obstacle.  distance, work/school priorities, lack of mutual feeling, etc.  all of these factors add up to disappointment.  it’s like having your heart broken by someone who doesn’t even know they are doing it.  you sit there and crush on them for months, while they are oblivious.

in the end, she is an amazing friend.  i wouldn’t trade that for anything.  even though we don’t talk all that often, we have this uncanny ability to be there for each other when were feeling down.  we don’t talk for months, then BAM - an hour long phone call about relationships or whatever.

i’ve had my fair share of internet crushes (”intercrushes” - KAM) before and a couple after.  however, they pretty much all end the same way; disappointment.  hell, some of them were even mutual.  but those pesky factors got in the way.

now don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying that the internet can’t be a useful tool for meeting people for friendship or more.  but in the end, that’s all it should be; a tool.  one of many in the toolbox of life.

toodles-